I know it's early but I recieved £70 of gift vouchers for Amazon from Nectar Points. I've used all this money to buy my daughter Birthday and Christmas presents. Her Birthday is on the 20th of December so this poses problems every year as I'm broke at Christmas anyway without having to prep for a Birthday too. SO, i've got half her Birthday presents and half her Christmas presents already thanks to Nectar and Amazon I am determind to be ready this year and not have her birthday be a pannic ...

It's been the reality of my life that I have bad eyes, and can only do so many hours in a day. Which I use for hobbies, tidying up, cleaning, and do my online work, such as admin/mod work on wtn here.

Like this last month or so, and yesterday, I just feel more negative about the feelings of working hard for something with the little time I have, with the feeling it's for nothing and that nobody really cares.

The family cat's dead. The rest of the family is quite upset. Some of them are even crying. I'm not. Never liked him. He was very quiet the last few days and it's the most endearing he's ever been. Thinking back on how I felt about him when he was alive I can't claim to feel that much different about my sister really. Wonder whether I'll care if she dies.

Need to get out of my own head. Need to be the thing that doesn't care somewhere away from them so I can turn around and lie to...

Parents continue their persistent nagging for me to get a job.

Your sister's got a job and she's younger than you! Don't you have any pride? We believe in you.

Paraphrased.

My sister needs the money, I don't. Besides a few weeks ago they were bad-mouthing her lack of effort in finding a job to me. After destroying one perception of her they can't hold her up as an example of virtue in their defence. It's unconvincing if they only use those concepts...

Guess it's time to start living. Bummer.